117

I feel great!  I weighed 117.00 on Monday morning after being stuck for what seemed like forever at 118.00. I dropped to 117.50 this past weekend and didn’t expect to see 117.00 until next week. But, there it is. I’m just 2 pounds away from my goal weight. I remember when I first started at the beginning of May. I was 130 and totally miserable—hated myself in clothes. After I lost 2 pounds, I thought, “wow, this is really hard work, I should have lost more than 2 pounds with all the work I’ve done.” But, I kept at it, and it is hard. Now that I am on the other side of the 15 pounds—2 pounds from my goal instead of 2 pounds from where I started—I am really excited. I have rid my closets of all clothes that are (1) too big and/or (2) out of style. It feels good euphoric. 

I took Rachel shopping on Saturday and actually ended up trying on clothes for myself. I bought a suit at Ann Taylor (jacket, skirt, pants). It’s a size 4P, black with grey pinstripes, but there is something funny about the jacket that I don’t like. I tried it on again at home and I’ve decided to take it back and look at another store to see if they have a different style of jacket that I can buy. I like Ann Taylor because everything is lined and classic, but everything has to be dry cleaned, too. In my line of work, dress is very conservative except for Fridays, which are business casual. I did buy some new pants, skirts, tops and also some exercise clothing. I don’t shop much, but it seems that when I do I have to try on 50 things just to find one thing that fits or looks good. I normally would find something that I like and then buy several of the same thing in different colors. I tend to do the same with shoes. Not any more.

I never thought I’d say this, but I will. For once in my life, I am really, really happy with my body. I am not talking about a perfect 10, hard body. My love handles have disappeared. My pooch is still there, but it’s barely noticeable.  I know it's there, but it doesn’t jiggle or hang/sag like it did before. While losing weight, I would like the way my clothes would feel (loose and sagging on the hips) because it was proof that my exercising was working. Now that I have new clothes that fit me, I like that feeling even more. My friends have noticed the new slimmer me and have asked me several questions.

What am I going to do when I hit my goal weight of 115? Maintain it. After I hit my goal weight, I am going to stick with portion control and continue my exercise program. I will do more for my upper arms (toning) and my abs—floor exercises. I will cut back on my cardio from 7x/week to 3 or 4x/week and maybe cut the time down from an hour a day to 45 minutes per session. We’ll see. Losing 15 pounds is like losing the equivalent of a Thanksgiving turkey, and that’s a lot for my frame.

What motivates me? As far as motivation, there are three things that really motivate me. First, the scale. As much as I strayed from ever weighing myself in the past, the scale has become my new buddy. I am motivated as I see the number dropping on the scale each week. I take pictures and post them where I can see them. Second, my treadmill has a digital monitor that shows me the distance/speed/calories burned/time spent walking. After each 1-hour session, I jump off the treadmill and record my stats in a small wire notebook. I have kept my stats since I began in May and will add everything up when I reach my goal. This motivates me. Finally, the way my body feels in clothes motivates me. After I lost the first 10 pounds, my clothes were literally hanging off my hips. They felt loose and sloppy. After buying new clothes in smaller sizes, I feel much better. Realizing I’d need a new wardrobe was/still is very motivating.

And I have changed my outlook on food. I was never one to totally pig out on anything, but I’ve had my fair share of lunch dates where the chips and salsa flowed freely and when the basket was empty we’d signal the waiter for refills. I’d do this without thinking twice about it. Now, I still enjoy lunch out with my friends. But, I am more aware of what I’m eating and stop when I’ve had my share. I check the labels on everything I buy and eat, deciding if it’s worth it or not. I’m not the type of person who handles restrictions or the word, “no” very easily. The minute you say I can’t have something to eat, then I will want it even more. That’s why I have never started a diet where I could only eat crackers and oranges or tried a diet where I could eat as much meat as I wanted but no dairy or bread.

What are my weaknesses? I’d say my weakness is Lay’s KC Masterpiece BBQ chips. I won’t eat the whole bag, but a handful is just fine. I love the bread basket at Black Eyed Pea. On some days, I could bury my head in the bread basket if no one was looking. I bought some mini powdered donuts for the kids and read the label on the package. One serving was 4 donuts @ 230 calories and 11 fat grams. I ended up having 3 of them and then I thought about them as I walked on the treadmill. I don’t want to over-analyze it all either. I think people can get carried away with it to the point of obsession. This whole experience has put me back in touch with my own body.